The Real You

What is the right way to start a blog?

Should I say hi blog! Welcome to my page or should I cut the crap and start with hey, do you know the real you? Meh pretty lame

So today I was going through my diary and I felt whoa I sound bipolar, like in one page  I am highly motivated and I feel like boss lady and in the next I am talking about death(not that I wanna die) its just the sereneness of the moment when time comes to a halt and the person reminisces everything of their life the good the bad, it probably feels like a summary but I’ve never felt it so what do I know, maybe its rude to judge something so final based on poems and novels I read but the thoughts settles me like checking off the day’s to-do list. Also makes me wonder how many points would I able to check off? That’s not the point, the point is my diary feels fabricated, like almost like I am writing so someone could read it, don’t get me wrong it still feels real, it still feels me but like maybe more refined me with precisely chosen word. That’s a writer thing prolly wanting my bits and pieces to be read. Its not wrong but I still feel like I am cutting myself of my own privacy. I cut down words that makes me vulnerable , thoughts that aren’t good enough does not get written down….that’s why I questioned myself today am I judging my real self?

We grow up in a society where negativity, judgements and insecurities are bound to be there but what if the lotus didn’t grow in the dirty lake and what if the judgements didn’t help one to break through instead insecurities became its shadow. I don’t think it goes away easily the insecurities. I struggle with it so much along with the stress to be perfect (I’m sure some of you do too) so much so that after sometime I relapse on the old habits of self pity, distraction. So today after reading my diary I decided to be real for one day at a time, like I am not thinking about getting rid of my problems or trying to aggressively plan my next three weeks which I tend to do so much without addressing the real issues in hand, the core reason like why did the problem arise in the first? I read somewhere saying it loud makes it real.

I will start with that the fact that I am being evasive to my self maybe because I am ashamed to be me and then we’ll see what’s the next step. I also want to add that I am not depressed its just I really overthink sometimes.

So me being me I thought how should I end the blog should I end with a happy note making it a complete cycle or should I leave it some other way like a quote or something to reflect the sentiments.

But then I decided lets keep it the way it is in the process

Also I thought about leaving my song for the mood and even one person realate to me comment down your song of the day.

House With No Mirrors by Sasha Alex Sloan

See you next time!